Chasing Sunshine: A New Adult Sports Romance (NE University Book 1) Page 10

  I hold her and run my fingers through her hair over and over. “I’m so sorry, baby. I am so, so fucking sorry.”

  We lie there for a long time. Probably an hour. She stopped crying a while ago. Her head is on my chest with that blonde hair all over the place. She’s so quiet. I begin to wonder if maybe she’s fallen asleep. I’m about to lift her hair out of her eyes to see when she leans up and looks at me.

  She speaks sadly, “For weeks, I felt like it was my fault. When I first found out, Trent, I had wished it away. I knew having his baby would tie us together for life. Even if I ran away. I knew I’d look at that baby, and I would see Alex. What if I couldn’t love him or her because they had his eyes? What if, every day of my life, I would look at that baby, and I would be reminded that for the past year and a half, the sex was either forced or that I did it so that I wouldn’t anger him? What if having a piece of him around would never allow me to heal?”

  She leans back down against me, and I rub circles on her back and kiss the top of her head, the strong scent of peaches a welcoming scent, even in this very sad moment.

  She takes a deep breath and curls her legs up so that I’m holding her. She’s so small in my arms.

  “But then I realized that this baby had saved my life. Because a few weeks after I’d found out I was pregnant, once I knew he or she was growing inside of me, I had known I had to get out. I had to save this innocent, tiny being. I needed to protect them with everything I had. So, I ran. And then I knew, I loved this baby. I hadn’t loved anyone since my parents, but I knew I loved this baby. Even in the horrendous circumstance that had brought them into this world, they had my heart. And then I lost them. Just another thing in my life that I had no control or say over. And then I began to wonder, What the hell is the point of anything? And what did I do in a past life to deserve this? It must have been something so despicable that God, if there is a God, laughed and said, You wait. You’ll get yours.”

  “Sunshine, that’s not how it works. You had every right to feel those feelings and to think those thoughts. If you hadn’t, that would have been more surprising. But sometimes, the world works in weird ways, and the things that rip us apart the most are also a hidden blessing. Maybe God knew that Alex would find out and would hurt the baby. None of this is your fault. Damn it, I wish I could have helped you through those times.”

  She gives me a sad smile and leans her forehead against mine. “You didn’t know me then, Trent.”

  “Maybe I hadn’t met you yet, but I feel like I have always known you. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

  fourteen

  Cameran

  By the time I walk downstairs, it’s morning. Mason and Anna are asleep on the couch; she’s in his arms. I smile. They are fully clothed, and she looks so peaceful. She begins to stir at the sound of my footsteps and looks around, seemingly forgetting where she is.

  Her eyes land on me, and she lets out a chuckle. “Guess you caught me. Or I caught you? What have you been doing all night?”

  She wiggles her eyebrows, and I laugh.

  “Nothing. We fell asleep,” I say honestly.

  After I hashed out all of my skeletons, we dozed off for a few hours. We were both emotionally drained.

  “Oh, sure! Cam Steele, you dirty, dirty girl!”

  “Shut it, Anna Banana!” I yell out.

  She flips me off and then giggles.

  Mason rubs his eyes. “Shit, my neck hurts. This couch is not meant for big fellas to sleep on.” He massages the back of his neck.

  Trent comes down the stairs and stands behind me. His presence always seems to activate every nerve ending in my body.

  Anna must notice my eyes are red. “You okay? Do I need to kick this guy’s ass?” She nods to Trent.

  I look at Trent. “I’m really good actually. No ass-kicking today. Check back tomorrow.”

  After I told Trent everything, he was worried that the number was Alex. And that Alex would indeed find me. If he ever finds me, I know he will kill me. I have no doubt in my mind that he will show no mercy. The thought makes me physically sick.

  He creeps into my nightmares more than I care to admit. In the nightmare, it’s always the same. I’m in the hospital room, waiting for my friends to come in and ruin my life with the news of my parents’ deaths. Instead, Alex strolls in and lifts his jacket, showing me he has a gun. I always wake up soaked in sweat.

  Looking back, I have no idea what I even saw in him in the beginning. Actually, that’s not true. With Alex, I felt taken care of. I let the finer things of life go to my head. He was charming and made me feel beautiful. Were there red flags? Yep, a shit-ton. But I wanted to be loved and to be taken care of. I wanted a home to return to at the end of each day.

  I remember, after we were together for a month, he bought me the laptop that I had been drooling over for years. I appreciated it, but it seemed like too much. Maybe not for someone married. But a couple dating for a month? Yeah, too much. I told him I couldn’t accept a gift like that. He got mad, told me I was an ungrateful bitch, and then broke it. Only to cry to me twenty minutes later. Then, we had make-up sex. The next day, another one was delivered to my dorm room with a tag that said, Forgive me. I love you. —A.

  Trent takes my hand and pulls me into the other room, so we’re alone. “I can’t just let you be out there in the world, in danger with your piece-of-shit ex stalking you.”

  He laces his fingers with mine and leans against the wall. I wedge myself between his legs and look up at him.

  “I know. But if he’s going to find me, he’ll find me anywhere. He has friends who are crooked police officers and detectives. Trent, it’s one thing for me to be in danger. I won’t put you in danger too. You have way too much going for you. And I still don’t think it’s a good idea for us to get involved romantically. As much as I want to—and you know I do”—a shiver runs up my spine as his lips graze my neck—“I just can’t. Not at this point in my life.”

  My breath hitches as he kisses my neck and then my chin before finally making it to my lips. It’s not aggressive. It’s soft, comfortable, sweet even. Almost as if we’d been doing it for years. There’s always something familiar about Trent. I feel at home when he’s near. I feel safe and protected. I also feel loved. Which is insane because I haven’t known him long enough. But the way he looks at me, devouring me as if he hadn’t seen food in months and was starving, it’s really something. Actually, if I’m being honest, it’s everything.

  “Just come and stay here. Let me make sure you’re safe. You don’t even have to sleep in my bed. Although I wish you would.”

  “I can’t do that. You would all be in danger. Plus, Anna! Oh my God. I forgot all about her. I will never forgive myself if she gets hurt.”

  “She could stay too. I’m sure Mason wouldn’t mind.” He lets out a deep laugh.

  “No, Trent.” I duck under his arm and begin to walk back into the living room. I know my cheeks are flushed. Having him that close does these things to me.

  “Anna, are you ready? I really need to do laundry and some homework since we’re training tomorrow.”

  I hear Trent grumble something from behind me, and Mason rolls his eyes.

  Anna narrows her eyes at him, putting one hand on her hip. “You got something to say, or are you just going to make those annoying noises?”

  Trent’s eyes never leave mine. “Not for me to say.” He cocks his head to the side. “Ask Cam.”

  My face is bright red. I don’t want to tell her in front of Mason. I don’t really want to tell her at all. Though I am sure I should, seeing as she could be in danger too.

  “I’ll tell you in the car. Let’s go. Now.”

  “See ya, hot stuff.” She blows Mason a kiss and slaps his butt.

  “Come back soon. Maybe if you’re a good girl, I’ll even show you my bedroom.” He winks and gives her his best schoolboy smile.

  He is so charming, it’s actually scary. No wonder every girl th
rows herself at him.

  She rolls her eyes, and in true Anna fashion, she flips him off. “Let’s roll.”

  “Sunshine, please,” Trent murmurs low.

  I turn and look at him, and in a hushed voice, I say, “There is nothing you can do for me. I told you what I did because I needed to talk to someone. I will be fine. Please, Trent. Don’t make this harder on me than it already is.”

  Truthfully, it is extremely hard, pushing him away. He makes me feel like I finally have someone in my corner. The fact that I told him everything that I did speaks volumes. I’d had a pact with myself that I would never tell anyone at NEU about my past, and I broke that pact. And the craziest part about it is, it actually felt really good to get it off of my chest.

  fifteen

  Trent

  I let her go. Because one thing I have learned about her is, she’s stubborn as hell. When I think about that fucker Alex, my blood boils, and my fists curl, digging my fingernails into my palms.

  “Yo, Mason, I’m heading to the gym. You coming or not?” I yell to him on my way to my room for my gym bag.

  “You know it, stud. Give me a second to change.” He follows me up the stairs. “Where the fuck is Lane though?” he says, clearly aggravated.

  I shrug. “Fuck if I know. He must have gone home with someone at the party.”

  Five minutes later, we’re getting ready to pull out when a small black car pulls in. Lane jumps out of the passenger side.

  A busty blonde with freshly fucked hair and makeup rolls down the window and blows him a kiss. “Call me!”

  He holds up his hand and grins as she pulls out.

  He catches us both watching and shrugs. “What? Someone’s got to give these ladies what they want now that you’re both acting like whipped little bitches.” He laughs and turns his hat around backward.

  “Fuck off,” Mason growls.

  Usually, he’s the easygoing one out of the three of us. I’m the dick; I’ll admit it.

  I change the subject. “We’re heading to the gym. If you’re coming, get your shit. We’re leaving.”

  “Nah, man. I’ll pass. I’m fucking hungover and hungry. Catch you later, assholes.” He walks backward into the house and motions his hand in the jerk-off position.

  I scowl, annoyed by his carelessness. “You need to do your workout at some point before practice tonight.”

  He looks at his phone. “Dude, it’s only seven a.m. I have all day.”

  We back out of the driveway, and then I decide to melt half my tires off once I see Lane is still acting like an asshole and pretending to jerk off. We pull away, and the whole road is filled with smoke.

  Mason laughs. “Dude, your dad’s going to be pissed!”

  I nod. He probably would be. But when I order new tires, I’ll just use my card anyway, so it’s not like he’ll notice.

  Ignoring his comment, I try to get to the bottom of his attitude toward Lane lately. “You seemed to have your pissy pants on back there when Lane showed up.”

  He scoffs, “I’m just sick of Rivers busting my balls about Anna. It’s no one’s business. Besides, I have no fucking idea what I’m doing.”

  I grin. He called her Anna, not Red.

  He notices my reaction. “What’s so funny, fucker?”

  “I see you’re on a first-name basis now, Mase.”

  “I called her Red last night, and she punched me directly in the fucking nutsack. Girl doesn’t play.”

  I laugh hard at that, picturing it in my mind. I am glad Cameran has her; she seems tough. I don’t say anything. I see him eyeing me over. I know what’s coming next.

  “What about you, man? You never have anyone stay the night. Besides, you fucking punched Carter last night. You know a shitstorm is coming our way for that little stunt.”

  He has a point. Carter is on the baseball team and also head of his fraternity. Lucky for me, no one usually fucks with me at this school. I am basically untouchable. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried something. The fraternity boys are sometimes unpredictable. I’ve heard a lot of rumors of them drugging girls to take advantage. After the first night with Cam, I’m beginning to think those rumors are true.

  I rub the back of my neck. “I don’t know. I don’t even understand it myself.” That’s all I offer.

  I don’t usually talk a whole helluva lot. I hate when people talk to talk. Cue Mason. But sometimes, I need his attitude to offset me. He’s the funny one, the one who just jokes through life. But I know he’s had his own share of shit handed to him on a silver platter. So, he uses humor and turns everything into a joke. It works for him.

  “I’ve never seen you act this way, man. I know how you are; you don’t want us to have distractions, and you never let yourself get distracted. I know football is your escape; it’s how you’re going to get away from your asshole father. What’s this all mean?”

  My fist smashes down on the center console. “Fuck, Mason! I don’t know! I don’t have a fucking crystal ball, showing me the answers! Get off my fucking back about it. You’re one to talk. You’re chasing the pants off of Red. Is that not a distraction?”

  “Don’t get fucking pissy with me. Cut the shit and talk. That’s all this is, Trent. We’re talking. I don’t feel like Anna is a distraction. I am keeping it light and easy. I’m not going around punching people and holding her while she cries all fucking night.”

  I look at him in shock. How the fuck did he know?

  He gives me a pointed look. “It wasn’t hard to tell she’d been crying, man. Her eyes looked like she’d been punched.”

  Gripping the steering wheel tighter, I stare straight ahead. “She’s in trouble. And she won’t let me help her. Big fucking trouble, Mase.”

  “What kind of trouble?” Concern etches over his face.

  I sigh. “I can’t tell you. I wish I could. But it’s not my story to tell. Just trust me when I say, she needs someone looking out for her right now.”

  She needs more than that. I’d hire a full-time security guard if she let me. Actually, that’s not a bad idea.

  “All right,” he sighs. Clearly upset that I can’t tell him more.

  There’s not much we keep from one another.

  We pull into the gym and grab our bags. I need to get some anger out today. I wish we had a game. I would probably break a record with the rage flowing through my veins.

  After we change, the trainer greets us and runs us through today’s workout. I push myself harder than I probably ever have, and it helps me feel a little better. That is, until the workout ends.

  We shower and head into town to get lunch.

  I convinced her to give me her number this morning before she left, so once we sit down at The Atlantic, I pull out my phone.

  Me: Hey there. Miss me yet?

  When she doesn’t answer in five minutes, I realize that she is probably scared I’m her asshole ex. I feel like a douche for not considering my message more.

  Me: It’s me, Trent. Sorry I didn’t think that last message through.

  Cameran: How do I know for sure?

  Me: Sunshine, it’s me.

  Cameran: I do miss you. Sorry for making things so heavy last night. That’s not how I usually am.

  Me: Well, I’m not usually like this either.

  Cameran: Like what?

  Me: Nice. I’m usually a heartless asshole to ninety-five percent of people.

  Cameran: Glad to make the cut!

  Me: Ha! it’s that nice ass of yours!

  Cameran: And here I thought, it was my sense of humor.

  I laugh because she’s being sarcastic. I can tell she’s funny, but our situations have never allowed us to be anything but serious. Serious or horny.

  Me: My offer still stands, Sunshine. I worry about you nonstop.

  Cameran: Aw-shucks. You’re making me blush, quarterback. I gotta do laundry. *peace emoji*

  I frown and tuck my phone back in my pocket.

  “You worrying abou
t your girl?” Mason asks before taking a huge-ass bite of his burger.

  “She’s not my girl. But, yeah, I am.”

  “You sure you can’t tell me what’s going on, brother? You know I won’t tell a soul.”

  I study him for a few seconds. I know he wouldn’t. But it’s not my secret to tell. I shake my head and pick at my burger. Suddenly, I’m not even feeling that hungry. Normally, I can eat three of these things. “All I am going to say is, she’s got a dangerous ghost from her past, and I feel like it’s about to come back to haunt her. Or rather, he will come back to haunt her. I need to keep her close. I need to protect her. Even if she wants to fight me every step of the way.”

  He nods slowly. His face growing somber. “Well, we all will then.”

  I nod. “Appreciate it, man.”

  “I mean it. Anything you need.” The conversation must be getting too serious for his liking because he grins. “And if it means more time with Anna, well, shit, I guess I can take one for the team.”

  I roll my eyes and shake my head. He definitely does help lighten my mood at times. And sometimes, I help bring him back to the reality that you can’t fuck off every day of your life. Life needs discipline. Ha, I’m one to talk about discipline.

  I know she is training tomorrow, so I say a team dinner is in need. Usually, we eat lunch in the food court on Sundays, but I’ll be changing it to dinner at The Atlantic. We have practice in the morning, so hopefully, that’ll keep me busy enough to not go out of my fucking mind.

  “We have a game on Tuesday against New Hampshire University. Should be a piece of cake, but we still need to be ready,” I say, dropping down some money and getting up from my seat.

  He stands and finishes his Coke, setting the empty cup down. “Oh, you know we’ll be ready, Captain,” he responds in a cocky voice. He’s usually not one to worry.

  We head out to my truck, and I cringe when I see Layla sauntering her way across the parking lot. She spots me right away. She’s with her friend, whose chest is barely covered with what scraps of fabric she’s wearing; it certainly can’t count as a shirt. It’s just past noon, and they both look like they are headed to go clubbing. Typically, seeing a chest that big squeezed into a shirt that small would do all sorts of things for me. Instead, I feel nothing.